2010 Relationship Sensus

Taste

Is this milk bad?

_ Yes.

_ No.

_ I can’t tell.

_ Why do I have to check? You’re the one who drinks milk.

_ Since you cheated, everything tastes sour.

Touch

Did you use all the hot water?

_ Yes, but I pooped right before I showered, so you wouldn’t have wanted to go in there.

_ No.

_ No, it was your idiot friend Jeff, who I will never call “The Dingus.”

_ I didn’t use it, so much as I wasted it, like you did with the best years of my life.

Smell

You can’t smell that?

_ Of course I can smell it, but I’ll never admit to it!

_ If you really loved me, you’d love that smell.

_ No, my secret cocaine addiction has decimated my olfactory sense, along with our bank account.

_ Yes, but I know it’s yours, and wish you would stop acting like this is ‘Survivor: Our Apartment’ and farts will get you voted off the island, though I would appreciate it if you went to the other room until this episode passes.

Sight

Blue socks with black pants?

_ That kind of old-fashioned attitude keeps us a twosome in the bedroom.

_ You notice that, but you don’t notice THE POPPY SEED in your teeth?

_ I’m color blind, and I’m worried that you don’t know that.

_ I’m going out to get cigarettes and sleeping pills.

Hearing

Are you even listening?

_ What?

_ Huh?

_ Sure, yeah, definitely.

_ Hello? Oh, that’s fucking great.